2nd Draft of Counterfeit

People had issues with my characterization, what the power was, the chapter structure, and a few other things in my story. So, I've rewritten it, and hopefully it's better now!

Here it is!

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Who the hell let a reporter into my office? I thought with a scowl as my door swung in, permitting a young woman. The permeating scent of stubborn determination filled the air like a bad perfume, and she strode to my desk, extending her hand while flashing a winning smile.

"Good morning, High President," she greeted cheerily, blue eyes sparkling. She had an odd clip to her voice—a familiar accent, but one I couldn't place. "I'm Laura Brown."

I considered her for a moment, then, still frowning, deigned to stand and shake her hand. "Good morning. Now I would appreciate it if you leave. I'm busy enough without rude interruptions."

"Actually, that's what I'm here to talk to you about," she said, stepping away and making herself comfortable in one of the chairs across from me and folded one black-clad leg over the other, her foot bouncing happily.

Laura's aura was confident—only the slightest amount of fear tinted it. She knew that  I could have security come and toss her out if I chose.  How did she get in here, though? Who didn't run this past me?

Reporters were a obstinate lot. They were the sort of people that I had a hard time dissuading from bothering me.

"What's it like to be the ruler of the world?" she asked, and I could feel smugness in her aura at the fact that I had not called for security yet.

Exhausting. And fairly boring. "Busy enough," I said, sitting back down and taking my reading glasses off, "even without a nosy reporter in my office." It wasn't the right thing to say to get her to go away—I knew that it would be harder than that. Like the time I had had to convince the congressmen to lower the age for the American Presidential office.

Laura didn't take the hint; instead, her aura grew more bold after a moment of irritation, and I finally turned my attention fully to reading her.

I'm not about to let this opportunity slip out of my hands, she was thinking as she opened her mouth to speak.

God, I'd wish she'd leave already. I have things to do. Annoyingly dry things—I was far off from eliminating the paper system of the 'old' world—but I had to do them nevertheless.

I held up a hand, stopping her before she began. "I am not interested in discussing—"

"You're bored," she interjected idly, cutting me off.

"Excuse me?" I asked, though I was more surprised than irritated.

                                                                                                                                     

"There's nothing else for you to do, nowhere else up the ladder to go," she told me matter-of-factly as she flicked the end of her pony tail over her shoulder.

How did she . . . ? I thought with surprise, scrutinizing her closer.

Like a shark sensing blood, she pursued, the scent of triumph tainting the air. "Rising to power was like a game to you. Each step higher was just another piece to take out."

Though they had to be guesses, her guesses sounded confident. Very confident.

My ascent to power was public record. It had taken a lot of political maneuvering, greasing of hands, and countless debates. Fortunately, I had always had money and some power in the political world—my parents had had connections, even back then—and it hadn't taken long for me to shoot up the ladder.

As confident as me, I realized, remembering how I had climbed up the social ladder. Could it be possible . . . ?

"What makes you say that?" I questioned while leaning back in my seat.

Giving the same, perfect-teeth smile, she continued as the scent of triumph and smugness growing stronger. "As soon as you turned eighteen, you ran for mayor of Seattle. Against the odds, you won. Then you made state governor. Next thing everyone knows, you're the king of the world a short ten years later."

A year had passed since then, and I was having some troubles wrangling down rebel groups from several of the more mulish countries who refused to accept a once-American as their leader.

Wait, I thought with surprise as I realized something. She had gotten me to ask her a question. Blazes. I didn't respond to her prodding—she hadn't asked a question, after all—instead frowning deeper and starting to pick apart her aura. This was a foe worthy of my full attention.

You don't know me. The message came through brightly, and shock grew through me as she gave me a sly smile. I wonder how you came to power without the aid of something greater?

Inconceivable, I thought, baffled by the thought that there was another like me. There had never been another who could match what I could do.

"Do you consider yourself a good man?" she asked—another question that caught me off guard.

Dammit. I had to stop letting her do that.

I was hesitant to answer the question, which would give me away if she really was like me. Indeed, I could feel her aura shifting, although she waited for me to respond this time. "No," I finally said, shifting a paper on my desk. "I don't. When was the last time you elected a good man, though?"

"We didn't elect you," she informed me, and I gave a small nod. This was true. Democracy was a step I had skipped when I started taking over the other countries. "What do you consider yourself?"

It was a question I had asked myself for a long time. Though I had never thought myself a good man, I had done great things since I took over. I had ended world hunger. I was on the way to achieving world peace. I had allowed new technologies to come forth that had been repressed—a water-powered car, for one.

In those aspects, I was a hero to many. But the lengths I had gone to achieve to achieve power, and the reasons, were not heroic by any means. Using the ability to sense wants and hear thoughts to emotionally—and otherwise—manipulate people had never been the trademark of a hero. I bent  

 "A villain, perhaps," I said. I had, after all, abused an extraordinary gift given to me to attain a position unlike any other. Then I cursed myself again. She was a bloody reporter. Whatever I said today might be in tomorrow's news.

But . . . the allure of someone who was like me at all was strong.  

"And why is that?" she questioned further, leaning forward.

After a long moment, I said, "Because there was no one to stop me."

She smiled broader, and I could hear from her aura a distinct message:

Not anymore.  

"I believe that will be all," she said, standing.

I stood with her, extending a hand while smiling at the challenge—something new and foreign, but welcome. "Well met, Laura Brown."

This WAS going to be about those Flash Fictions

There's one form of writing that I can sort of say is done, if you consider that I'm probably never going to write more on it or with those same characters. Flash fiction! I have several of these little things lying around. Two friends and I even have a site for it. Okay, those are mostly the really silly flash fictions we do late at night.

Tonight, however, I've written two semi-serious flash fictions! I figure I might as well share them. Because, hey, what else am I going to use my blog for? (And we don't want another year passing in between posts, but shhh.)

Here they are!

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Prompt: Write a scary story, somehow including bugs.

Oh dear, she thought to herself as she skidded beneath one of the emergency containment doors before it shut all the way, barely getting her antennae out of the way before it met the ground. How did I end up in this mess?

She skidded to her feet, finding it hard to gain much purchase against the metal floors as she shot down the corridor. There wasn't enough space in here for her to use her wings . . . .

"Stop right there!" she heard someone shout in Kuloyn. She was startled enough that her feet stopped moving—however, the slick floor carried her right past the corridor that a guard was running down.

Keep moving! her sense screamed at her, and she began her mad dash once again.

Something clinked in the way of her path on the floor—A ptsorit grenade! she realized with dread, vaulting over it—just as it released its gas, the hazy fog-like gas filling the corridor. She shuddered in pain as her antennae twitched violently at the confusion gas, and she stumbled into the wall, holding herself up with two of her limbs. Can't . . . stop . . . here . . .

She slid to her knees against her will, gasping, her senses blurry with pain. Then she fell face-forward onto the ground.

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So my thought for this one is that the main character is a bug-like alien in a High Tech Fantasy universe, and she's in trouble for something. Oh, and she's also in some government facility. And running for some reason.

Silly character. Doesn't she know that running is the international sign of guilt?!

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Prompt: Beneath the smiles

Silver rays cast shadows about his body as he travelled across the field, pulling his cloak closer to himself. He squinted up at the two moons in the sky, exhaling a breath that fogged around his face. Inio and Sala sure were bright tonight. He wondered vaguely if he should have paid more attention to Brother Taro's sermon early that week, but shook his head.

For a moment, he was distracted by the moons in the sky, then he continued walking, blinking dull spots of light out of his eyes. He froze as he made out a smiling face behind his eyelids, and his breath caught in his throat as he stared, unwilling to close his eyes again, at the forest in front of him. Closing his eyes again, he exhaled as it was revealed that the light spots had disappeared.

"By the lights!" he snarled as he opened his eyes, jumping back from the person that had seemed to appear out of nowhere. His green aura flared around him, casting a sickly light on the red-auraed man. "You scared the light out of me, Ronos!"

Ronos gave a half smirk. "I try."

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This one has a bit more of a story than the other one. Well, in the setting, anyways. I have no idea who Ronos is or the young man from whom I presume is telling the story. I also learned new things about the world from this snippet.

Basically, I've been envisioning this magic system based on auras for a while now. I really like Brandon Sanderson's writings, and I've spent a while trying to come up with a magic system that resembles one of his, without being one of his or one of somebody elses'. It's really hard to make a complex, good, unused magic system, by the way. Especially without being accused of just ripping someone else's work off.

Example: I mentioned that I wanted one of the colors of the auras to increase physical attributes (such as strength, senses, hair length, stamina, speed, etc.,) and one of my friends mentioned that it essentially does what pewter does in Sanderson's Mistborn series. Of course, I informed her that it would also have to include tin, and that Mistborn isn't the first thing I think of when I think 'enhanced physical attributes.' 

Actually, I think Runelords (which, apparently, has horrible characterization and plot, and reviewers are pretty sure the author is both racist and sexist. I think at the time I read the book, I didn't notice (it was a few years ago. Like, maybe when I was twelve or thirteen.)), which has a fabulous magic system. It basically consists of taking stuff from one person and giving it to another (which really is twisted and awful when you put it like that. Both the good guys and the bad guys did that in the book, although the rationale for the good guys was that their people were willing to give up their attributes). 

Anyways, it just brings up the age-old topic of "There is nothing new under the sun." It's hard to create anything original. And generally, one element of a magic system won't be very original. 

Where did I start with this? Oh, yes. Auras. Magic system. 

The system would consist of the following colors (most common to most rare): Silver (white), Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red, Black. I'm not sure what all the colors would do quite yet, but I've been working on that. Supposedly, Black is supposed to be the most powerful, and white the least powerful.

I toyed around with the idea of White being the most powerful (the original list included both silver and white), and that it was more of a genetic abnormality. See, it was my initial thought that they could have all the powers of all the auras (except for black), because white is all the colors. Then I was like, "Crap, that's too much like the mistborn from Mistborn." And if I had done that, then I think I actually would be starting to rip Sanderson off. 

Everyone on this world would be born with an aura of one of the basic colors. 'Calico' auras would be ridiculously rare--that's what my notebook says, anyways. I wanted to avoid making this like other magic systems including auras--like the Nicholas Flammel magic system, where only a few people have pure auras. 

Continuing on, the auras are heredity. I decided that, instead of being the most rare, White would be the most common because the magic system is based (very loosely, hah) off light (if you didn't catch all that, VIBGYOR is the colors of the rainbow in backwards order), and at the point in time I'd write any book, a Red, Blue, and Green-auraed person would be in many lines. 

Come to think of it, Black would be the abnormality, since it can't exactly be made from those three colors. I wonder if it's like UV. I should look into Black light for this, shouldn't I? It'd seem more purpley to me than anything, though. I'll think on that. 

Where was I? Right. So, Black, being the most rare, would be the aura of nobility. They would generally be pure-bred, seeing as we don't want some purple aura popping up in a royal child somewhere! I think the only way a 'calico' aura could be made is by mixing with a black aura, but I'm not sure about that yet. 

Red and Greens would primarily make up the Noble class, while Orange and Yellow the Merchant class. Blue, Indigo, and Violet, would be classes above the Silver/White commoners, but still commoners nevertheless. 

So, while not knowing about what each individual color does, I do know some things about the magic system. In order to use the powers of an aura, one has to be trained in it. Except for silver/white, I think, because I want theirs to be something super mundane like shining. How fun. Not glittering, though. Distinct difference. 

I digress, again (three times in the entirety of this blog, so far). Auras are something like hair or height to everybody. Everyone is born with one, and one person might have a stronger aura than another. However, everyone can strengthen their aura, much like strengthening a muscle. 

Weight training == strong muscles.

Magic training == strong aura.

Using up one's aura makes one faint. I've decided that a full night's rest == completely replenished aura. Likewise, if one is getting poor sleep, then that directly affects their aura. Again with the muscle analogy, exerting your muscles at some point gets tiring, and one can pass out from over-exerting themselves. That's basically what happens when someone uses up all their aura. 

I think I'm running out of things to babble about. I guess I'll post some ideas I had for each color. Imagine a question mark after all of these.

Black--Aura drainer/dampener

Red--Physical manifestation of aura 

Orange--

Yellow--

Green--Healing
Blue--Enhancement of physical attributes

Indigo--

Violet--

White--Glowing/Shining

Obviously, I have to figure out the primary colors first before I can work out the secondary ones. In light, Red, Green, and Blue are those, by the way. Put them together, and they make white. My list of potential powers, straight from my notebook:

Invisibility
Elemental control (fire, water, air, metal, etc.,)

Riot/Soothe Emotions ((This makes sense for you Sanderson fans >_> Basically, make people angry, or make people peaceful.))

See future
Magic Bolts
Clairvoyance

Heat/cold

Magnetism (Like ferric lure, for you 40Kers)

Healing

Physical Attributes

Aura dampener/drainer/booster

Shining

Illusions

Physical manifestation

Electrical disturbance

Delude/decieve

Some of these I don't think will ever even really be considered, because I want this magic system to mostly affect only the person using it. I think Healing and the Black Aura might be the only exceptions to that. Hmm. Actually, I was thinking it'd be cool to have one color be able to throw their aura at another person (via magic bolts), so maybe only half the magic system affects only the person using it. 

So much for that plan.

If you have any advice on what you think the other colors should be, or you can think of other powers to add to the list, you should totally share it with me. Magic systems are hard, yo.  

Also, Indigo might get lumped together with Violet, but then that would take away my new-found curse of 'Nine lights!' so I'm not sure. Maybe they once thought Indigo was part of violet.

P.S. I just remembered I have something else to babble about, but I can't stick it somewhere up there without disrupting the flow. 

Auras can also take shape, depending on how a person is feeling. One does not have to be a magic user for this to happen. It's like having a second face, in this way. It can be controlled, with or without the help of a person's magic. So, a flaring aura == angry. A jagged aura would probably indicate prolonged anger instead of just a flare of it. Peaceful auras reflect calmer moods (obviously). And so on and so forth. 

P.S.S. I also found out that holy names in their world consist of four letters, have two consonants, and two vowels, and end on a vowel, whether feminine or masculine. Other names tend to be 5-6 letters long, and I believe there is an attempt to put consonants on the end.